Saturday, April 11, 2009

I felt "empty" these few days. Something is missing in my life.
But, I still haven't figured out what it is.
It's weird. It's just weird.
Something is definitely not with me.
But, what is it? I never know.
Am I losing something unconsciously?
I don't know. I don't know.
I'm feeling blue~~~

I'm not feeling so well this week.
Sinus infection, I guess.
But, I have no time to pay attention to it.
I'm just too lazy.
The sickness is dragging me down.
I didn't feel like doing anything.
I don't wanna do homework, nor study.
Sleep, ample of sleep, is what I yearn.
Still, I went to kendo this morning, coz I thought it's the last Saturday practice.
I'm wrong. The last one is on May 2nd. But, I'm glad that I go.

Wednesday was a windy night. But, it was not cold.
It was like the summer breeze in that very summer I came to US.
The wind made me think of the first day I reached here.
There were 1 me, 2 big luggage, and nothing else.
Three years ago, I was so afraid of the new environment.
On the very first day, I cried and doubted my decision.
Papa, mama, siss were not there, and best friends were out of reach.
I had no one to count on. I hated to be alone.
I wasn't that strong after all.
The very first week was horrifying. I doubted many would understand that.
I never want to remember it, but the wind brought it back.

I remembered waking up from my sleep, but never wanting to leave the bed.
How I wished I could continue sleeping and go home in my dream.
Voice of people chatting out there terrified me.
They're speaking English, the proper US English like in the movie.
"Can I understand what they're talking?" I wondered.

Three years later, here I am.
I have a room, friends, furniture, lot of clothes, friends, memory, good GPA etc..
There are things that I never expected on the very first day.
Now, I wonder, "What's next?"
I'll never know. Only God knows.

One more year to go before saying "Good Bye".
There are things and people that I never want to say "Good Bye".
But, it's impossible. People and things come and go in life.
Everything is transient.

Three years ago, I left the familiar for the foreign.
One year later, I'll leave the familiar for the more familiar (I hope it's).

3 comments:

Fairy tales said...

Sometimes I feel the same too. Take good care of yourself. If you need someone to talk to, call me. ^_^

hui ann said...

thanks! I definitely will!
Sue yen is coming 2 days later.
so many things to chat about and to catch up on all the latest news :)
we must have a little gathering soon! How i wish we can go Canada together!

hui nee said...

so jiwang!