a sad day

The is the 1st time I felt so helpless during my college life.
So frustrated with my inability....

To be frank, I cried in front of my adviser this evening.
I have never cried outside my home before, never ever....

Yet, I was so stressed out after the Biochemistry lab and lecture yesterday.
I so wanted to drop the lab courses but I was so afraid of getting a "W" on my transcript...
Though I managed to suppress my feeling for a day, I could not take it anymore after I met with my adviser.
Tears just kept rolling down right after she said, "You looked so upset."
This was exactly how I felt these 2 days, NO, these 3 weeks after the school starts.
I just couldn't keep the feeling to myself anymore...
I need someone to talk to, someone who really understands the situation...

You must be wondering what the situation is...

I was taking the Experimental Biochemistry a 3 credit hours course.
Though it's 3 credit hours, the lab ran from 9pm till 2am and there is a lecture for the lab.
So, we have to spend 6 hours in total in class.
According to the norm,
3 credit hours = 9hours per week
Since we already spend 6 hours in class, we should spend another 3hours .
But, there are ways too many readings for the labs, not to mention about the FORMAL lab report which have to include everything from abstract to references which has to be done EVERY WEEK...

Maybe I set such a high limit on myself, thinking that I can survive any subject I take.
But, with so many classwork from each of the 5 courses, I really could not handle it anymore.
It's just way too much....
I didn't even have time to cook and eat dinner yesterday. It's just crazy...

After have a long chat with my adviser, though I was crying throughout the meeting, I decided to drop it. I didn't care if I got a "w". Because, deep inside myself, I knew that I'll be very sick physically and mentally after this semester if I continued with the courses.

I have thought a lot these days.
Is study really that important?
It took me a while to understand that I'm not just a student.
I'm a daughter, a sister, a friend, a roommate, a member of the society, of the country and the world.
I am a human being made with blood and flesh!
I shouldn't let my schoolwork takes up all my time.
College should be a place where one grows up to be a better person, not to be a nerd....

I didn't have a long chat with my family for a while...
I wanted to talk with my mom yesterday, but I dropped my phone and broke the screen of the phone. So, I couldn't retrieve any phone numbers from my old phone...

~Ean~